A Mac Kid Reader Asked:
We’re always excited about the holidays and going away with our 3 and 5 year-old boys, but then the reality hits—early rising to get to the airport, endless waiting for check in and security, our own stress trying to keep track of kids and belongings, etc. The meltdowns just seem inevitable. How can we make this as painless as possible and minimize the whining and tantrums?
Noel Janis-Norton
There’s really no getting around the hassles of air travel (or any travel) with kids. If we’ve had to schedule an early flight, the travel day begins with sleep deprivation for everyone, and when we’re tired, we are going to be more irritable and so are the kids. So of course if at all possible, book your flight for a convenient time of day.
The good news is that most behavior problems can be avoided if you prepare your kids for trips in a very specific way. The more they know about the travel day, the more prepared they will be to successfully handle all the logistics and even the delays. Starting several days ahead of your departure, start talking with the kids about your travel day in detail—what time you’ll get up, how you’ll get to the airport, what will happen when you get there, what the check-in and security procedures are, finding out if the flight is on time, what will happen if the flight is delayed, how it can be hard to be flexible when the schedule changes, etc.
Once you’ve told them about all these things, then ask them to tell you the plan and walk through each step. The more they know the plan and can tell you about it, the less resistance they’ll have and the more flexible they will be if there are delays or changes. We all feel less anxious and more confident when we know what’s ahead and what our role will be in whatever it is that we’re doing. As grown-ups, we know all these things about air travel, but our kids don’t, so we must take the time to prepare them. You’ll be surprised at how smoothly your travel will go when you are proactive and prepare them in this specific way.
And remember to notice all the little things your kids do right as the day proceeds, being very descriptive with your praise, “You helped move our luggage forward as we were checking in—that was helpful to me and your Mom.” or “I noticed that you had your shoes and jacket off and were ready for security so we didn’t make the people behind us wait.” When you take a second to notice and mention the little things they do right, they will want to do more of them.
The more you prepare your kids, the easier it is for them to do things right and the more opportunities you will have to give your kids descriptive praise. The two techniques of “Preparing for Success” and “Descriptive Praise” work in tandem, and they are essential for calmer, easier, happier travel with kids and for family life in general. If you missed my earlier columns about these two key parenting skills, take a minute to read them now. Start practicing these skills every day and you’ll see results sooner than you can believe.
For weekly parenting tips, follow Noel on Twitter @calmerparenting
